Should You Do a First Look?
Should you do a first look at your wedding? The age old question…
I believe that doing a first look is a personal decision, and always one that should be made between the couple taking part in it. There are times when it's not a great idea to do a first look, and there are other times when the first look is perfect. As a wedding photographer there are benefits when a couple wants to do a first look but it's certainly not a requirement.
Benefits to a first look
First looks often allow for better time management as we can do almost all formal portraiture before the wedding ceremony begins. This means you get to enjoy cocktail hour and be present at your wedding from the moment it starts.
For my introverted couples and those that don't enjoy PDA a first look can provide a moment to see each other in a private and controlled environment allowing you to experience a full, authentic reaction without the pressure of your friends and family watching.
Family portraits can also take place before the ceremony allowing your family to enjoy cocktail hour. Asking everyone in your immediate family to arrive an hour early will go a long way especially if there are elderly family members that need assistance during portraits.
Doing portraits before the ceremony can reduce the risk of loosing members of the family or wedding party to cocktail hour. We often get started on a strict timeline and someone has wondered off for a drink or to socialize with guest. There is more wiggle room for scheduling before a wedding begins than there is during.
Benefits of not doing a first look
For a lot of couples; especially those wanting a wedding filled with sweet wedding traditions; seeing each other as you walk down the aisle is a special moment you don't want to miss.
There is a certain build up and excitement to the wait. From my experience (and yes as a wedding photographer I chose not to do a first look), walking down to the love of my life in a sea of my family and friends was one of the most memorable parts of my ceremony. I remember everything my Father whispered on the way down, the way my husband to be was looking at me and the moment the tears started flowing. There isn't much I would change about my wedding day and this is not one of them.
This one really isn't a benefit but a reassurance. Wedding photographers push for first looks because of timing however as a wedding photographer I can assure you with cooperation and a solid timeline, which I will provide as a part of your wedding collection, you won't miss out on any big moments during your wedding day.
If a first look is just not for you there are some great alternatives to consider.
You could try:
First looks with parents, siblings, wedding party or anyone special to you make amazing photos and even better memories.
First touches are a sweet way to have a moment with your partner without seeing them. I often have couples exchange a gift or letter at this time and spend a moment talking, sharing fun experiences from the day so far and talking about their excitement. We can have you stand back to back, on opposite sides of a wall, or do a blind fold.
Moments of quiet reflection, prayer or any other traditions that you value can also happen without you seeing one another. We can use the same method as above.
First looks are a sensitive topic. For some, they provide time for the bride and groom to remember the moment, share a private memory of their wedding day with each other, and process the anticipation of the ceremony ahead. Others will argue that first looks are awkward and uncomfortable. Inherently, there is no right or wrong answer here. It's just a matter of what you want. And with this in mind, I encourage all couples to sit down and talk about it, discuss their thoughts and feelings towards first looks, and make sure they are on the same page. If you're are worried about timing talk with your photographer, we know how to help because we've seen it all and can guide you to make the best of your day regardless of your choice. You deserve to get married how you want to get married--with or without a first look!